Do your patriotic duty

In a 1992 decision (R.A.V. versus City of Saint Paul, Minnesota) the US Supreme Court ruled that the First Amendment's freedom of speech clause ensures all Americans the right to place burning crosses in the front yards of those we hate.

I'm very upset that I just found this out. All that time in high school I thought I was being daring TPing houses and forking yards, but in hindsight I see that I was just being patriotic by exercising my First Amendment right.

So since today is a federal holiday (Presidents' Day), I want to encourage all my readers (all two of you) to be good Americans and get out there trespassing and destroying lawns. Who's pissed you off lately? If you're having trouble thinking of someone, the government is always good; if you really need an excuse, tax time is right around the corner. TP, forks -- be creative, just do a little damage. If you don't show your patriotism people might think you support the terrorists.